Finding the Balance
The account of Jesus’ visit to the home of Martha and Mary appears to be an unplanned stop. It also appears that Jesus did not really know the sisters and yet we hear more of them in other events – especially in the account of the death of their brother Lazarus. On this occasion Jesus has come to an unidentified village where this family resides. Martha has obviously heard of Jesus and probably had met him before. He and the disciples may even have been there before. Obviously Martha and Mary are both thrilled that Jesus has agreed to stop. But Martha’s delight soon turns to disgust as she realizes that her sister has left her to do all the work alone.
Now it could be argued that Martha was the one to invite Jesus and the disciples and was the one who decided to entertain them with a meal. All the preparations involved were her idea; but she naturally assumed that her sister would have helped her without having to be told. As the head of his party and a man, Martha made what she saw as a natural request of Jesus. After all in a patriarchal society in which they lived, a man could command a woman to do whatever he wanted. Mary would be bound to listen to Jesus and obey. But Jesus chooses to let Mary follow her heart and lets her stay to listen as he taught the disciples. It is interesting that as much as women figure strongly in so many of the events of Jesus’ life, this is one of the few times that it is clear that the teaching of Jesus meant for the disciples is open to a woman. Culturally it would have been extremely radical if one of the twelve chosen disciples had been a woman; perhaps that is the reason we do not have more direct accounts of the participation of women in the ministry. But in spite of this, it is abundantly clear that Jesus intends both men and women to be taught this fuller revelation of the will of the God who has created them and sustained life both for them and all the generations throughout time. Even though Paul seems determined to not allow women into positions of authority in the church, it is clear from the writings in the New Testament that women were exercising leadership not just in the areas of prayer and hospitality but also in teaching. It is often forgotten that Moses was supported by both his brother Aaron and his sister Miriam. It is also often forgotten that one of the judges in the early days of the people in the Promised Land was Deborah. Obviously God was not as concerned about the sex of the leader as that it was the most gifted person for the time and situation which really leads me to wonder why the church in general repressed so many for so long. It’s regrettable that the traditions of the Celtic church were neglected as their inclusiveness was a valuable lesson that was overlooked.
Now Jesus was not dismissing Martha’s concern for needing help but Jesus knew that for Mary the most important thing for her at that point was to listen to him. One of the lessons we can take from this is not that Mary was being lazy and inconsiderate as Martha seems to assume but rather that Mary felt that listening to the teaching of Jesus was what was really needed at that moment in her life.
Martha appears to be the older sister and no doubt it has been well ingrained in her that when someone comes to visit – especially if they are meant to stay with you – you will be feeding them; and having a crowd of at least 13 people would take a lot of preparation. For all we know there may have been even more people with them. So as a woman in the society she lived in she saw it as her responsibility to care for the physical needs of her guests and Jesus has no issue with that. However he also understands that the needs of both men and women extend beyond the physical. Perhaps he would have even preferred that Martha had laid aside all her preparations to listen to him but Martha was probably multitasking and expected Mary to do the same. Mary was a different spirit and Jesus honoured that by not criticising Martha for her choice but encouraging Martha to allow Mary the freedom to choose her path and not feel guilty for it.
When we have expectations of others without first confirming what they would like to do or be able to do, we can find ourselves reacting like Martha and becoming resentful of the choices others make. Certainly we need to be supportive of one another and share in the responsibilities and tasks of our community in the church, in our homes and with other organizations that we are part of but we also need to be willing to accept when others make a choice other than the one we hoped for.
In part of the teaching that Jesus gave in what has come to be known as the Sermon on the Mount, he urges the disciples to not worry about the food they will eat or the clothes they will wear. They are to remember that God is well aware of their physical needs. They are to not lose sight of their spiritual needs; and so he urges them to seek the kingdom of God and the righteousness of God. The body will ever demand our attention for food and clothing but our spirit’s demand for food and clothing in the form of the word of God, the love of God and the forgiveness of God may be ignored or repressed unless we take the time to intentionally give it attention in our lives.
When Jesus tells Martha that Mary has chosen the right thing, he is not criticising Martha’s choice for herself but rather he is affirming that Mary has chosen what she most needed in that moment. For Mary the choice to listen to Jesus was where she needed to be in that moment of her life. Martha would no doubt have found Mary very helpful if she had just recognized her need to focus and listen.
Now it is true that we cannot always control our time to the extent that we may want to because there are demands on us from family, employers and others that we cannot ignore; but we can make the effort to take control when we are able and to make decisions about how we are going to spend that time in a way that will help us to remember that we are more than flesh and blood.
When tempted in the desert – in a place where anyone would be hard-pressed to think of anything beyond physical sustenance – Jesus affirms the spiritual need within all of us for the Word of God; and not just the written Word of God but every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.
Jesus probably wished that Martha would have rested a bit from her task oriented life and listened more intently to the words that were proceeding from the heart of God; and I am sure she did listen in time.
And that is what God wants each of us to do. Listen but act. Take time to find the balance between the needs of the physical and the spiritual and to refrain from criticising one another for the choices we make. If we are making an honest effort to achieve a balance in our lives we will find the time for ourselves and for one another and we will discover a peace that passes understanding that will keep us body and soul in the place where we can hear and experience the presence of God in our lives.
Amen